Counting days. It's roughly two weeks left.

Time flies, moment crawls, laughter slowly disappears out of me. Damn yeah, I couldn't bear this feeling any longer. I'm standing in uncertainty, whether to leave home studying medicine or to stay at home doing nothing, not planning to leave (apparently not an option). Seriously, living in UK is a whole new chapter to someone timid like me. I'm totally unprepared mentally and physically. There has been many "if-s " hovering above my head. Like, what IF I couldn't cope up with my studies, what IF I got stuck halfway in my studies, in which most of them are negative. I've tried to be really optimistic in my option to undertake medicine for the next 5 years, which is a very long journey in which my dad said "period of total change can possibly take place; death, behavioral change, and etc". Undoubtedly, he's right. Massive changes can occur whether in me or in people around me. Everyone is subjected to changes.

What has taken the laughter out of me to the utmost would be the remaining days left for me to be able to be in tangible contact with my loved ones. First one would be my mom, my unsung 'hero'. She's the greatest mom ever, for sure, the resilient, the superb, the indescribably amazing lady. She's been the driving force, the powerful thrust that has been pushing me this far. I'll never be able to reach this level of humanity, if she's not around. She has taught me about life in general. My dad did too, but I couldn't seem to absorb much of his advice. DON'T ask me why.

Seriously, I am sad now. Really sad. Sad of being unprepared. Sad of leaving my lovely home and the lovely people in it. Sad of being away for a long stint. Sad of the possibilities.

That's all from me for now. I need to hit the bed. I need some rest. Tomorrow gonna be a big day for a small people like me. I end this with a sincere wish, Happy fasting Muslims!

Ps- I am kinda hate the word possibilities now. Although it has been very much a help for me for all this while. But at this very moment I really hate it.

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